Next up on the Adulting is Hard playlist – making friends as an adult. Now, I want to start this piece by saying I have some amazing friends – people I’ve known since grade school, amazing women from college – but none of them live where I live – they are all back home in MO. I have a really close friend here in NYC that I met doing acting classes at HB Studios when I first got to the city and we are tight, but she lives in Manhattan still, is a teacher, and has her own life – we see each other as often as we can, but it’s rare.
As Seen on TV
The thing is…TV shows and movies show women having these amazing friendships – girls that drop everything to gab and gossip, drink mimosas with, help with heartbreaks, etc. And my friends would all be there, on the phone or FaceTime if something major happened and have been, but it can get lonely as an adult far away from friends back home. I sometimes wonder if I’m weird for not having a ton of friends, tons of outings and events to go to – but making friends as an adult is hard, people.
When you’re in school, it’s so easy – you see these girls (and boys) day in and day out – I mean, it’s hard to get away from some people – am I right? But it’s also easy to form friendships and bonds over things like failed tests, hard teachers, crazy lunchroom antics, and the like – when you’re adult, you don’t have those instant areas to form friendships. Now, the nice thing – I’m about to join my son’s school’s Parent’s Association executive board – this will give me some opportunities to be around other parents, mostly Moms, and get me out of my little apartment bubble at least a few times a month.
You Like Me, You Really Like Me
This is both good and bad – this brings up feelings of, “will they like me?” or “will I fit in with them?” or “what if I’m just not interesting?” or “what if I don’t like them?” – because let’s face it – I don’t like everyone and not everyone likes me. That’s life. As far as I can tell, they seem like amazing moms and people in their own right and I’m not overly worried about me not liking them, but me fitting in – yes. That feeling never goes away kids.
So…if you’re out of High School, how do you make friends? And if you’re like me, you know – old – how do you make adult friendships?
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I am a complete loner as well! Haha! You’re completely right. It is really difficult to make friends as an adult, particularly when you’re not in a community-based area. Some cities are more welcoming and friendly than others, I’ve found.
Isn’t it an odd thing to get used to?! I have a wonderful group of lifelong friends in the town and surrounding areas where I’m from, but that never translated for me as I moved to new and far places. It’s a good thing I’m a natural introvert!
🙂 Fun post!
See, I’m not a natural introvert – in fact, I always test ENFJ on the Meyers Brigg test – but I have grown to really enjoy being by myself. I think it helps that as a writer I can surround myself with imaginary people and friends, if you will, that keep me company. But I do sometimes miss having that instant group of friends like I had back in college with my roommates.
Awesome post.
Thank you so much!