Quick Fix: Loser

By:  Jennifer Gregson

“You are a loser.”

Roger stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His head hurt. The party had been loud, but the music couldn’t drown out Mindy. Everyone saw her dump him. Everyone saw her leave with the captain of the football team. Everyone would be talking about it on Monday at school.

Roger turned on the shower and stepped under the hot water.

“I’m not the loser,” he thought. “She is. She dumped me. She’s the one missing out – I’m a catch! Craig’s a moron who’s only claim is football. Who cares?”

He turned around to grab the shampoo and screamed.

“What the hell, Roger?” Mindy yelled.

Roger was standing in Mindy’s bedroom. He was wet and very naked.


“You’re naked!”

“I was in the shower.”

“My shower?”

“No, my shower.” He said, covering himself up with his hands.

“Here, put these on and then get out. Pervert!”

“I’m not a pervert. I swear, I was in my shower, and all of a sudden…”

“You expect me to believe that?!?! Get out….use the window so my parents don’t have a cow.”

He opened up her window and crawled out on to the limb of the large oak tree. Something he had done just last week when leaving after curfew. He turned to say something, but Mindy closed and locked the window and drew the curtain.

He hugged the limb, trying to decide if he could think his way back to his own house, or if he was going to have to walk the six blocks in these tiny shorts with the word CUTE on his butt.

Roger was just about to drop down to the ground when he saw Craig walking up to Mindy’s front door. He slowly started to lower himself off the tree so he could hide when he heard a loud rip. He had snagged on something and ripped the booty shorts right in half. Roger sunk to the ground, hoping Craig hadn’t seen or heard him.

“Hey…who’s there?” Craig asked.

“I’m not the loser…” thought Roger, hoping this would somehow magically teleport him back to his own shower.


Roger needed a plan, and fast. He stood up, the bush just managing to cover his lower half.

“What are you doing here? And without clothes on?” Roger could tell that Craig was getting mad. This was it. In an instant, Roger had his plan.

“Nothing, I just climbed out of Mindy’s window…her Mom was coming, you know how it is. Do you think I could borrow your lettermen jacket so I can get home?”

Craig, looking like his puppy had died, handed over his jacket. Roger threw it around his waist, fixing the sleeves so they covered his front and walked away.

“I’m not the loser,” he thought. Roger blinked as steam surrounded him. The hot water felt good on his head and he smiled as he realized that Craig’s leather jacket was getting soaked. “I’m just fine.”

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