Category: Muddled Moments

Have You Found Your Life’s Purpose?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

Have you found your life’s purpose yet? Do you cringe when someone asks you this question? 

I still hate this question and I feel like I’m way closer to finding the answer than I was even 2-3 years ago…but who knows?

My passions and dreams have changed so drastically in the 20 (what?!?!) years since I’ve graduated college that I can’t say for 100% certainty that THIS IS IT!

I moved to NYC in 2001 to pursue my love of Broadway and dreamed of belting out the 11 o’clock number to adoring fans. 

Now, 18 years later, I dream of seeing that orange Bestseller tag on my book’s Amazon page – and having adoring fans.

10 years from now? Maybe it will be to run a marathon a month — seriously, who knows?  I do know that I’ll want adoring fans no matter what I’m doing so get those giant Run, Jennifer, Run signs ready (just kidding – I don’t run!)

So tell me, what was one passion or dream you had when you were a kid or teenager and what’s one that you have now?  How different are they?  How different are you now? How similar are they? How are YOU the same?

Comment below and let me know and then take time today to celebrate YOU! Your dreams, your passions, your growth!

 

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Adulting is Hard…Ugh, Cleaning

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

In my final installment of the Adulting is Hard series, I would like to talk about cleaning. I love planners and being organized with my time, but when it comes to cleaning and organizing my apartment well…I’m a bit of a hot mess.  Don’t get me wrong, the city won’t be coming by anytime soon to shut me down for being a health hazard (no bugs or other creepy crawlers) but it’s not company drop in ready. And I believe there are a few reasons for this:

Toys, toys and more toys

As most of you know, I have a little kid – to be more specific, a six-year-old boy who loves Legos, trains, empty cardboard boxes, and stuffed animals – our floors are covered in toys constantly.  We have bins and boxes and other storage for these toys, but they always wind up on the floor.  I gave up picking things up to just have them find their way back to the floor every day.  We have a lovely green rug over beautiful hardwood floors, but alas – you can’t see them.

The crap is taking over

We also just have too much crap.  I know it, my husband knows it, I think even my kid knows it but do we actually do anything about it?  No, we don’t.  We are somewhat good about getting rid of some stuff before new stuff comes in, but we still have TOO MUCH CRAP.  Some of our crap I love – CDs and DVDs are treasured items.  Certain books will always have a place on our shelves.  Board games and Xbox games, musical instruments and knick-knacks that are used and adored sit around the apartment.  Some of our crap I don’t love – papers everywhere, old greeting cards, random things picked up from Chuck E Cheese, crafts my kid was totally into one rainy Saturday.  It’s like Where’s Waldo in here some days.

The couch is so comfy

I’m lazy.  I’m always busy – writing sessions, day job, going to my son’s school for meetings, making and eating food, getting in some exercise, and reading – but when it comes to down time well….I just don’t want to spend time cleaning.  I’d rather watch The Handmaid’s Tale, Superstore, or an old episode of Psych than dust, sweep, or organize a bookshelf.   We don’t have a dishwasher so I do those pretty much every day (although I’m pretty lazy about that too and take off at least once a week) but once I’m done with dishes, I just don’t feel like doing anything else – because I’m lazy like that.

The hot mess is just too overwhelming

And the final reason, I don’t know where to start…seriously, when your apartment looks like a tornado went through a toy factory it’s just all too much to take in.  I was organizing one thing and one thing only but we went out of town for a week back in April and I just never picked that habit back up…probably because I got overwhelmed with which ONE thing to pick.  I’m a complete mess people.

How do you manage cleaning?  How do you start organizing when it’s all just too much? Like I said, I love planners and organizing my time for maximum productivity but cleaning is hard for me.  For now, I’ll go drink another cup of coffee, write another chapter in my book, and forget it about….again, that’s how I’ve been handling this problem because Adulting is Hard!

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Adulting Is Hard – Meal Planning: Do People Actually Do This?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

For today in Adulting is Hard I thought I would write about Meal Planning.  Now, I love (LOVE) paper planners (yes, I know everyone and their Mom carries a smartphone nowadays) but I seriously love planning my week and daily to-do’s in a colorful paper planner – bonus points if I get to use stickers and colorful pens/markers/highlighters – but Meal Planning…I just don’t get it.

Do people really figure out their breakfasts, lunches, and dinners a whole week in advance?  I normally eat the same general thing for breakfast so as long as we have eggs, cheese, veggies, ham, and veggie sausage patties I can make eggs in a variety of styles for breakfast.  I basically eat the same thing for lunches as well – deli meat, cheese, veggies, fruit, and maybe some crackers.  I also like to have soup on hand as well as chicken sausages.  Easy things I can throw together for a healthy, quick meal.

Yes, Chef   

I’ll be honest here, I don’t do the majority of cooking in this house – my husband does, but I do help with prep or when we’re cooking in the crockpot (or he needs to work late, of course).  I guess he decides weekly what to buy from Fresh Direct, our online grocery store, but I honestly don’t know if he has a day by day plan for cooking dinner.  We text on his way home from work about what he needs to pick up at the market and that’s when I usually find out what’s for dinner -unless we already talked about the crockpot or any sides I’m helping with.

So…I guess we have a small idea, but we don’t write anything down or decide anything a few days in advance.  Do people (not on YouTube) actually do this?  And if you do, help me out – how?  I tend to follow an Intuitive Eating plan from my nutritionist – I keep things on hand that I like to eat for breakfast and lunch and snacks and then eat what I feel like eating when the time comes up.  I let the one that does the cooking plan the meals for the most part, with my help on Saturday when we order food – like, I sometimes say – this week let’s make this – but that’s pretty rare.

Buttered Noodles, Please

Maybe I would meal plan more if my kid ate what we did?  My son tends to eat one of like six things so we always cook his stuff separately – chicken nuggets, Amy’s pizza rolls, buttered noodles, etc.   And sometimes he gets hungry even before my husband gets home from dinner, so I cook his dinner early. I’m not going to starve a six-year-old.

Do you meal plan? On paper or just in your head?  Do you sit down weekly and decide for the whole week or do you shop twice (or more) a week?  We tend to order a large batch of food from Fresh Direct on Saturday (delivered on Sunday) then we hit up the Fruit/Veggie market or smaller grocery store a few times a week to buy produce and things we either forgot or that Fresh Direct didn’t have.  We don’t do Costco or the like because we have a tiny apartment, even tinier kitchen, and no pantry to speak of – so we don’t have room to store giant gallons of anything.  How do you shop and deal with meal planning?

 

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Adulting is hard…how do you make friends as an adult?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

Next up on the Adulting is Hard playlist – making friends as an adult.  Now, I want to start this piece by saying I have some amazing friends – people I’ve known since grade school, amazing women from college – but none of them live where I live – they are all back home in MO.  I have a really close friend here in NYC that I met doing acting classes at HB Studios when I first got to the city and we are tight, but she lives in Manhattan still, is a teacher, and has her own life – we see each other as often as we can, but it’s rare.

As Seen on TV

The thing is…TV shows and movies show women having these amazing friendships – girls that drop everything to gab and gossip, drink mimosas with, help with heartbreaks, etc. And my friends would all be there, on the phone or FaceTime if something major happened and have been, but it can get lonely as an adult far away from friends back home.  I sometimes wonder if I’m weird for not having a ton of friends, tons of outings and events to go to – but making friends as an adult is hard, people.

When you’re in school, it’s so easy – you see these girls (and boys) day in and day out – I mean, it’s hard to get away from some people – am I right? But it’s also easy to form friendships and bonds over things like failed tests, hard teachers, crazy lunchroom antics, and the like – when you’re adult, you don’t have those instant areas to form friendships.  Now, the nice thing – I’m about to join my son’s school’s Parent’s Association executive board – this will give me some opportunities to be around other parents, mostly Moms, and get me out of my little apartment bubble at least a few times a month.

You Like Me, You Really Like Me

This is both good and bad – this brings up feelings of, “will they like me?” or “will I fit in with them?” or “what if I’m just not interesting?” or “what if I don’t like them?” – because let’s face it – I don’t like everyone and not everyone likes me.  That’s life.  As far as I can tell, they seem like amazing moms and people in their own right and I’m not overly worried about me not liking them, but me fitting in – yes.  That feeling never goes away kids.

So…if you’re out of High School, how do you make friends? And if you’re like me, you know – old – how do you make adult friendships?

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Adulting is Hard: What do I do with my hair?!?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

I thought I would kick off my “Adulting is Hard” series with my #1 issue – I have no clue what to do with my hair!  Like, seriously, how do women (and I guess men?) learn how to do their hair?  Do they have Moms that teach them? Do they all just watch YouTube videos? Or are they just magic?

I adore my Mother, she’s amazing and taught me many, many lessons…but doing hair was not one of them.  When I was a kid she had a perm (just typing that word brought back the home perm smell – anyone else?) and now she keeps her hair pretty short so….not much help in the hair department.  My older sister wasn’t much better, also did the perm thing and then she used to cut her own hair – being “girlie” wasn’t big on her list – which is cool, but…I liked being girlie and could never figure out what to do with my own very thick, very heavy, very straight hair.

Hair History

As a kid, I had the bowl haircut and bangs that my Mom used tape on to cut straight.  Then in college, it was longish and I used to pull half of it back into a ponytail.  Then I moved to NYC and started auditioning for things and pretty much had to keep my hair looking like my headshot – layers.  And I would wash it, dry it, and use a large round brush-looking dryer to flip the ends either under or out and that’s it.  Here’s the thing – I like my hair – even now, that I stopped dying it and it’s getting quite silver – it’s healthy and shiny.  But it can also be boring to do the same old, same old all the time.

I tried crimping my hair….once! My sister-in-law bought me one with I was about 12 maybe and helped me crimp it, which took HOURS…and didn’t really look like what I thought it would and didn’t last very long.  I had friends in college try various curling devices with equal results – very little.  When I was in shows and needed “different” hair I would wear wigs, or beg others to help me – which worked – I’m cute and can be quite persuasive!

Current Hair

Ponytails aren’t really my thing either because pulling my hair back causes headaches…and my head is very tiny compared to the rest of my plus-size body.  This is why I always said God gave me lots and lots of hair, to balance my tiny head (seriously, I can wear kid sized hats…it’s weird) – so when I pull my hair back I just feel…off, somehow.

My hair is very straight and the layers do help give me movement but does anyone out there know – is there anything I can do?  Would YouTube be helpful? If so….what would I search for?  Seriously…help a lady out!  Thank you…because, Adulting is Hard!

P.S. – The Art of Lying is now available on Amazon!

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Do You Feel Your Age?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

Funny story…I don’t feel like an adult half the time.  I mean – I have a day job, I pay bills, I have a kid! But most days I still feel about 25 years old (which, okay, some of you might say, 25 – that’s still an adult) but when I was 25 I was moving to New York City, auditioning for Broadway and Off-Broadway (and let’s be honest Off-Off-Broadway) shows, taking acting and singing and dancing lessons – I wasn’t really doing the adult thing.

Here comes some huge truth bombs…I’m 41 years old (turning 42 this year), but I still feel like that 25-year-old. I still have a hard time contemplating that the 1990s were 30 years ago and that I moved to NYC 17 years ago.  My Mom and I were talking when I was home for my son’s Spring Break and she mentioned that she always felt 40, even as a kid (she’s in her 80s now) and I thought that was interesting.  Do we ever feel the age we are?  

I don’t think I always felt 25…and sometimes I don’t act 25 (I can be a moody teenager some days, or a tantrum-y tree year old) – but I think I felt more ME then.  Or maybe that’s when I felt most like ME – I knew who I was.  I think I got stuck there, mentally.  My Mom worked with her parents and siblings picking cotton from the time she was old enough to hold the large cotton bag (true story) so she always felt responsible and grown-up.  She didn’t get to be a kid like I did.  She always felt like an adult, whereas I never really did.  Like I said, I paid bills and was fairly responsible with my actions, but mentally – I’m this care-free teenager.  Which is probably why I love to read and write Young Adult books and watch TV shows like Riverdale (I mean it’s Dawson’s Creek meets Twin Peaks…what’s not to love?)

I sometimes resent having responsibilities and chores and laundry and dishes (we don’t have a dishwasher) because in my mind 25 year me didn’t have those – but I did, I had laundry and dishes and a day job and all that other stuff….so I don’t know why my mind makes me think that time was so much better.  It was fun, but having a family and a cute little kid is fun in a different way.  And I have a much better handle on what I want to do with the rest of my life and that’s exciting. So, why can’t I remember I’m 40? Why do I have to stop and think about how old I am when someone asks – I’m taking doctors, not randos on the street (that would be weird).

I think the other thing that makes it hard to feel 40, I find typical “adult” things hard – like doing my hair, meal planning, and making friends. See my mantra has always been: Just because you’re an adult, doesn’t men you don’t have to grow up…but the thing is, doing some “adult” things would make life easier – like having a cleaning routine or being able to do my hair in other ways (seriously – I wash it, dry it, and move on) So that’s why I decided to write a whole series of articles this month around the theme of “I don’t know how to Adult” –  stay tuned.

So, what do you think?  Do you feel your age? Or do you feel older or young and why?  I’m curious.  Thank you and if you have any issues you can’t figure out that you assume all other adults have figured out, let me know in the comments and I’ll put them on the list.  Because Adulting is Hard!

 

PS – The Art of Lying is Available now on Amazon…check it out!

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Technical Difficulties

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

You might notice that things look a little different around here.  I’m hoping they look better, but I guess that’s subjective isn’t it?

Yesterday, I received an email from my web host that they updated some things on their end – this caused my old blogging platform and my web host to stop speaking to each other (family drama!).  After a little ranting and raving and crying and cursing the Universe I decided that this was actually a good thing.    See, I just created a fancy Facebook Author page, which just went live on Thursday, and then my blog blows up – I felt like the Universe was laughing at me.  Then I decided that the Universe was actually saying, “if you’re going to go BIG then go BIG – do it right!”

So, I downloaded WordPress, installed a fancy theme, and moved my old blog posts over.  I think it looks keen, but again your mileage might vary.  It’s my blog though, so I’ll do what I want. HA  Just kidding – but I do like the simple clean lines of this theme, the fact I can add pages easier than my old platform, and I’ll be able to incorporate my MailChimp newsletter sign-in form so much easier – which, is coming soon (like early 2018 soon).

And that’s the story of my weekend blog meltdown.  I still need to go through and check all the old links, pictures, GIFs, etc and make sure everything on here is linking correctly.  Then I need to go through said fancy Facebook Author Page and re-link the few blog posts I put over there, and then make sure Instagram and Tumblr are okay.  Oh…and Pinterest is probably going to need an overhaul as well.  I tried re-directing things, but it didn’t seem to work like I was hoping so I still have some work to do.   Please be kind, if a link doesn’t work – drop me an email (see that fancy envelope icon in the top left – you can use that to email me now) and let me know.  I’ll continue working and updating and re-linking, but since this week is also Thanksgiving and I’ll be out of town, well – it might not be perfect right away.

So, what do you think of the new digs? Is it as easy to read? Check out the new FB author page too and if you have any friends or family members who love YA novels (especially coming of age stories) and want to check out a new author on the cusp of self-publishing, send them my way!  Thanks, everyone!!!

 

Muddled Moments: As If

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson


Grab a Clearly Canadian, put on a velvet babydoll dress, throw on a lace choker and some Doc Martens, watch an episode of Friends or Buffy the Vampire Slayer and sit back because – the 90s are back, baby! Want to know how I know? Bath and Bodyworks just brought back their old original scents – Cucumber Melon, Sun Ripened Raspberry, Country Apple, and my favorite…..PEARBERRY! I grabbed a shower gel, lotion, and body spray last week and was immediately transported back to my old college days.


And once I started using the stuff, I swear the 90s were everywhere. That new Full House show is back on Netflix (although without baby Michelle, what’s the point?). All of our favorite little teen pop icons are still around – Leo DiCaprio, Will Smith, Ryan Gosling, Justin Timberlake. And that’s just the guys! I mean, a Clinton ran for president…how 90s can you get?!?! The Simpsons are still on the air….still, not reruns (although you can find those too) but original shows are STILL AIRING ON FOX.

Thank goodness some things have changed – I can get internet access now whenever I want without that weird whoooshhh noise that took 9000 hours to connect. We have less frosted tips on men now (right?). I can watch TV without commercials and Beyonce’s solo career has gone pretty well, from what I’ve heard. Kidding! But buying that old favorite did make me think about my younger, slightly less carefree days – the 90s were all about High School and College for me, making friends, dating, broken hearts, parties, dancing (to those sweet 90s tunes) and not having to worry too much about jobs or money or what school should I send my kid to and what’s up with homework for a kindergartner?!?! But, I digress.

So, go watch 10 Things I Hate About You on Netflix, no seriously – if you’ve never seen that movie, stop reading and go watch right now. Dig out those 311, Alanis Morrisette, or Radiohead CDs and thrash around like you’re in a club, I won’t judge – heck, I’ll come over! What’s your favorite oh so 90s thing? Which scent did you rock back in the day? And if you’re way too young to get these references, then hold tight – one day, you’ll write a blog post (or whatever replaces blogs and YouTube in the future) waxing nostalgic about the 2010s talking about Beyonce and Lemonade, the crazy presidential race of 2016, fidget spinners, and who knows what else. Because every 10 years or so has it’s own persona…and you get to be a part of that!

Muddled Moments: Not Cooking with Gas

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

Today, I’m starting another new series I’m starting on the blog called Muddled Moments – little slices of my life (that’s not necessarily related to writing) – today is about the lack of gas coming into our apartment building.
What happened?
So….a few weeks ago, right around the time of Career Day actually, there was some issue with the gas heading into our apartment building.  From what I’ve heard, the gas company was checking something or doing some work and they overloaded our pipes and a small pop-like explosion happened.  This didn’t cause any permanent damage, but the gas needed to be turned off immediately. So far, it hasn’t been turned back on to the apartments (it has been turned on to the water heater though so we can shower and do dishes).  Our management company felt bad since it wasn’t their fault, so they gave us a 2-burner hot plate. 
How will we cook?
We cook with a microwave, the hot plate, an electric kettle that my Mom gave us, our crockpot, and a toaster oven.  It’s been like cooking in a college dorm. Also, I’m not much of a chef, but I swear the last two weeks all I have wanted to do was bake.  Seriously, I keep dreaming about banana nut bread, cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, and all sorts of tasty treats that I can make, except that I can’t.   It’s been…tricky, but we have actually been managing fairly well.  We found some new crockpot recipes to try, some old favorites to pull up on Pinterest, and some new ways of cooking veggies and steaks. 
It affected the laundry room too?
Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: I started laundry one day, threw my two loads into the dryers and headed back upstairs.  I went down 30 minutes later and my clothes were still wet and cold.  Thinking that the dryer was just having an issue, I ran it for another 30 minutes….again, wet and really cold.  I finally called our super and found out that the dryers should not have been plugged in, as they were affected by the no gas.  Great!  I wound up at the apartment building across the street finishing up my clothes.  Fun day…NOT.  Lately, we’ve been using the laundromat pick-up and delivery service down the street.  It’s nice having the clothes come back home all clean, dry, and folded. 

This no gas thing has been interesting, to say the least, and has caused my husband and me to get really creative on meal planning. Do you have any favorite crock pot recipes?  Have you ever had to get creative with cooking due to an unplanned issue?  Isn’t apartment living the best?