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Adulting is Hard…Ugh, Cleaning

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

In my final installment of the Adulting is Hard series, I would like to talk about cleaning. I love planners and being organized with my time, but when it comes to cleaning and organizing my apartment well…I’m a bit of a hot mess.  Don’t get me wrong, the city won’t be coming by anytime soon to shut me down for being a health hazard (no bugs or other creepy crawlers) but it’s not company drop in ready. And I believe there are a few reasons for this:

Toys, toys and more toys

As most of you know, I have a little kid – to be more specific, a six-year-old boy who loves Legos, trains, empty cardboard boxes, and stuffed animals – our floors are covered in toys constantly.  We have bins and boxes and other storage for these toys, but they always wind up on the floor.  I gave up picking things up to just have them find their way back to the floor every day.  We have a lovely green rug over beautiful hardwood floors, but alas – you can’t see them.

The crap is taking over

We also just have too much crap.  I know it, my husband knows it, I think even my kid knows it but do we actually do anything about it?  No, we don’t.  We are somewhat good about getting rid of some stuff before new stuff comes in, but we still have TOO MUCH CRAP.  Some of our crap I love – CDs and DVDs are treasured items.  Certain books will always have a place on our shelves.  Board games and Xbox games, musical instruments and knick-knacks that are used and adored sit around the apartment.  Some of our crap I don’t love – papers everywhere, old greeting cards, random things picked up from Chuck E Cheese, crafts my kid was totally into one rainy Saturday.  It’s like Where’s Waldo in here some days.

The couch is so comfy

I’m lazy.  I’m always busy – writing sessions, day job, going to my son’s school for meetings, making and eating food, getting in some exercise, and reading – but when it comes to down time well….I just don’t want to spend time cleaning.  I’d rather watch The Handmaid’s Tale, Superstore, or an old episode of Psych than dust, sweep, or organize a bookshelf.   We don’t have a dishwasher so I do those pretty much every day (although I’m pretty lazy about that too and take off at least once a week) but once I’m done with dishes, I just don’t feel like doing anything else – because I’m lazy like that.

The hot mess is just too overwhelming

And the final reason, I don’t know where to start…seriously, when your apartment looks like a tornado went through a toy factory it’s just all too much to take in.  I was organizing one thing and one thing only but we went out of town for a week back in April and I just never picked that habit back up…probably because I got overwhelmed with which ONE thing to pick.  I’m a complete mess people.

How do you manage cleaning?  How do you start organizing when it’s all just too much? Like I said, I love planners and organizing my time for maximum productivity but cleaning is hard for me.  For now, I’ll go drink another cup of coffee, write another chapter in my book, and forget it about….again, that’s how I’ve been handling this problem because Adulting is Hard!

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Adulting Is Hard – Meal Planning: Do People Actually Do This?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

For today in Adulting is Hard I thought I would write about Meal Planning.  Now, I love (LOVE) paper planners (yes, I know everyone and their Mom carries a smartphone nowadays) but I seriously love planning my week and daily to-do’s in a colorful paper planner – bonus points if I get to use stickers and colorful pens/markers/highlighters – but Meal Planning…I just don’t get it.

Do people really figure out their breakfasts, lunches, and dinners a whole week in advance?  I normally eat the same general thing for breakfast so as long as we have eggs, cheese, veggies, ham, and veggie sausage patties I can make eggs in a variety of styles for breakfast.  I basically eat the same thing for lunches as well – deli meat, cheese, veggies, fruit, and maybe some crackers.  I also like to have soup on hand as well as chicken sausages.  Easy things I can throw together for a healthy, quick meal.

Yes, Chef   

I’ll be honest here, I don’t do the majority of cooking in this house – my husband does, but I do help with prep or when we’re cooking in the crockpot (or he needs to work late, of course).  I guess he decides weekly what to buy from Fresh Direct, our online grocery store, but I honestly don’t know if he has a day by day plan for cooking dinner.  We text on his way home from work about what he needs to pick up at the market and that’s when I usually find out what’s for dinner -unless we already talked about the crockpot or any sides I’m helping with.

So…I guess we have a small idea, but we don’t write anything down or decide anything a few days in advance.  Do people (not on YouTube) actually do this?  And if you do, help me out – how?  I tend to follow an Intuitive Eating plan from my nutritionist – I keep things on hand that I like to eat for breakfast and lunch and snacks and then eat what I feel like eating when the time comes up.  I let the one that does the cooking plan the meals for the most part, with my help on Saturday when we order food – like, I sometimes say – this week let’s make this – but that’s pretty rare.

Buttered Noodles, Please

Maybe I would meal plan more if my kid ate what we did?  My son tends to eat one of like six things so we always cook his stuff separately – chicken nuggets, Amy’s pizza rolls, buttered noodles, etc.   And sometimes he gets hungry even before my husband gets home from dinner, so I cook his dinner early. I’m not going to starve a six-year-old.

Do you meal plan? On paper or just in your head?  Do you sit down weekly and decide for the whole week or do you shop twice (or more) a week?  We tend to order a large batch of food from Fresh Direct on Saturday (delivered on Sunday) then we hit up the Fruit/Veggie market or smaller grocery store a few times a week to buy produce and things we either forgot or that Fresh Direct didn’t have.  We don’t do Costco or the like because we have a tiny apartment, even tinier kitchen, and no pantry to speak of – so we don’t have room to store giant gallons of anything.  How do you shop and deal with meal planning?

 

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Adulting is hard…how do you make friends as an adult?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

Next up on the Adulting is Hard playlist – making friends as an adult.  Now, I want to start this piece by saying I have some amazing friends – people I’ve known since grade school, amazing women from college – but none of them live where I live – they are all back home in MO.  I have a really close friend here in NYC that I met doing acting classes at HB Studios when I first got to the city and we are tight, but she lives in Manhattan still, is a teacher, and has her own life – we see each other as often as we can, but it’s rare.

As Seen on TV

The thing is…TV shows and movies show women having these amazing friendships – girls that drop everything to gab and gossip, drink mimosas with, help with heartbreaks, etc. And my friends would all be there, on the phone or FaceTime if something major happened and have been, but it can get lonely as an adult far away from friends back home.  I sometimes wonder if I’m weird for not having a ton of friends, tons of outings and events to go to – but making friends as an adult is hard, people.

When you’re in school, it’s so easy – you see these girls (and boys) day in and day out – I mean, it’s hard to get away from some people – am I right? But it’s also easy to form friendships and bonds over things like failed tests, hard teachers, crazy lunchroom antics, and the like – when you’re adult, you don’t have those instant areas to form friendships.  Now, the nice thing – I’m about to join my son’s school’s Parent’s Association executive board – this will give me some opportunities to be around other parents, mostly Moms, and get me out of my little apartment bubble at least a few times a month.

You Like Me, You Really Like Me

This is both good and bad – this brings up feelings of, “will they like me?” or “will I fit in with them?” or “what if I’m just not interesting?” or “what if I don’t like them?” – because let’s face it – I don’t like everyone and not everyone likes me.  That’s life.  As far as I can tell, they seem like amazing moms and people in their own right and I’m not overly worried about me not liking them, but me fitting in – yes.  That feeling never goes away kids.

So…if you’re out of High School, how do you make friends? And if you’re like me, you know – old – how do you make adult friendships?

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Adulting is Hard: What do I do with my hair?!?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

I thought I would kick off my “Adulting is Hard” series with my #1 issue – I have no clue what to do with my hair!  Like, seriously, how do women (and I guess men?) learn how to do their hair?  Do they have Moms that teach them? Do they all just watch YouTube videos? Or are they just magic?

I adore my Mother, she’s amazing and taught me many, many lessons…but doing hair was not one of them.  When I was a kid she had a perm (just typing that word brought back the home perm smell – anyone else?) and now she keeps her hair pretty short so….not much help in the hair department.  My older sister wasn’t much better, also did the perm thing and then she used to cut her own hair – being “girlie” wasn’t big on her list – which is cool, but…I liked being girlie and could never figure out what to do with my own very thick, very heavy, very straight hair.

Hair History

As a kid, I had the bowl haircut and bangs that my Mom used tape on to cut straight.  Then in college, it was longish and I used to pull half of it back into a ponytail.  Then I moved to NYC and started auditioning for things and pretty much had to keep my hair looking like my headshot – layers.  And I would wash it, dry it, and use a large round brush-looking dryer to flip the ends either under or out and that’s it.  Here’s the thing – I like my hair – even now, that I stopped dying it and it’s getting quite silver – it’s healthy and shiny.  But it can also be boring to do the same old, same old all the time.

I tried crimping my hair….once! My sister-in-law bought me one with I was about 12 maybe and helped me crimp it, which took HOURS…and didn’t really look like what I thought it would and didn’t last very long.  I had friends in college try various curling devices with equal results – very little.  When I was in shows and needed “different” hair I would wear wigs, or beg others to help me – which worked – I’m cute and can be quite persuasive!

Current Hair

Ponytails aren’t really my thing either because pulling my hair back causes headaches…and my head is very tiny compared to the rest of my plus-size body.  This is why I always said God gave me lots and lots of hair, to balance my tiny head (seriously, I can wear kid sized hats…it’s weird) – so when I pull my hair back I just feel…off, somehow.

My hair is very straight and the layers do help give me movement but does anyone out there know – is there anything I can do?  Would YouTube be helpful? If so….what would I search for?  Seriously…help a lady out!  Thank you…because, Adulting is Hard!

P.S. – The Art of Lying is now available on Amazon!

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Do You Feel Your Age?

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

Funny story…I don’t feel like an adult half the time.  I mean – I have a day job, I pay bills, I have a kid! But most days I still feel about 25 years old (which, okay, some of you might say, 25 – that’s still an adult) but when I was 25 I was moving to New York City, auditioning for Broadway and Off-Broadway (and let’s be honest Off-Off-Broadway) shows, taking acting and singing and dancing lessons – I wasn’t really doing the adult thing.

Here comes some huge truth bombs…I’m 41 years old (turning 42 this year), but I still feel like that 25-year-old. I still have a hard time contemplating that the 1990s were 30 years ago and that I moved to NYC 17 years ago.  My Mom and I were talking when I was home for my son’s Spring Break and she mentioned that she always felt 40, even as a kid (she’s in her 80s now) and I thought that was interesting.  Do we ever feel the age we are?  

I don’t think I always felt 25…and sometimes I don’t act 25 (I can be a moody teenager some days, or a tantrum-y tree year old) – but I think I felt more ME then.  Or maybe that’s when I felt most like ME – I knew who I was.  I think I got stuck there, mentally.  My Mom worked with her parents and siblings picking cotton from the time she was old enough to hold the large cotton bag (true story) so she always felt responsible and grown-up.  She didn’t get to be a kid like I did.  She always felt like an adult, whereas I never really did.  Like I said, I paid bills and was fairly responsible with my actions, but mentally – I’m this care-free teenager.  Which is probably why I love to read and write Young Adult books and watch TV shows like Riverdale (I mean it’s Dawson’s Creek meets Twin Peaks…what’s not to love?)

I sometimes resent having responsibilities and chores and laundry and dishes (we don’t have a dishwasher) because in my mind 25 year me didn’t have those – but I did, I had laundry and dishes and a day job and all that other stuff….so I don’t know why my mind makes me think that time was so much better.  It was fun, but having a family and a cute little kid is fun in a different way.  And I have a much better handle on what I want to do with the rest of my life and that’s exciting. So, why can’t I remember I’m 40? Why do I have to stop and think about how old I am when someone asks – I’m taking doctors, not randos on the street (that would be weird).

I think the other thing that makes it hard to feel 40, I find typical “adult” things hard – like doing my hair, meal planning, and making friends. See my mantra has always been: Just because you’re an adult, doesn’t men you don’t have to grow up…but the thing is, doing some “adult” things would make life easier – like having a cleaning routine or being able to do my hair in other ways (seriously – I wash it, dry it, and move on) So that’s why I decided to write a whole series of articles this month around the theme of “I don’t know how to Adult” –  stay tuned.

So, what do you think?  Do you feel your age? Or do you feel older or young and why?  I’m curious.  Thank you and if you have any issues you can’t figure out that you assume all other adults have figured out, let me know in the comments and I’ll put them on the list.  Because Adulting is Hard!

 

PS – The Art of Lying is Available now on Amazon…check it out!

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The Art of Lying is NOW Available!!!!

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson
The Art of Lying, Jennifer Gregson's Debut YA Novel, is NOW available on Amazon!

Someone pinch me because I’m not quite sure this is really happening right now – my book, this labor of love, is available for people to actually buy on Amazon, right now!  What?!?!   I checked my notes and I’ve been working on this baby since 2011, that was the same year my son was born and he’s SIX!  What??!?!

Life has a funny habit of getting in the way, but I always came back – more determined and more capable with each derailment.  I had freak outs and false starts.  I had mini-breakdowns and crying fits.  But I loved this book, I loved this main character – I mean, she wouldn’t leave me alone – I loved writing so I kept coming back and little by little I finished.  I wrote a full first draft, I edited this thing twice on my own, then searched for an editor (I found an amazing one by the way- if you need an editor, check out The Bookish Fox – Sarah is the best!), she went through it twice with me fixing things in between.  I found a cover designer (did you see that cover?!? She totally rocked – Mariah Sinclair for the win, people!) and a Self-Publishing 101 course that helped me figure out the ins and outs of indie publishing and Amazon and keywords and…well, you get the picture.  It was a lot of work, but I’m so proud of myself and this book.

The Art of Lying has been an amazing ride and I’m so, so glad I get to finally share it with you, my lovely readers.  To read more about the book, head to my new Books page HERE and to purchase (thank you!) head to my Amazon Author page HERE.

I have had some twisty turns the last few years, but I now know that I am a Writer and that I’m meant to write Young Adult books – to connect with teens and young adults, to entertain them, to help them through this awkward phase and show them that they are not alone.  If you have a teen or young adult in your life that loves books by Rainbow Rowell, Julie Murphy, or John Green then send them here because they will love The Art of Lying!  Thanks!

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Rachel’s Painting Playlist

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

When I write, I need music so I assume that my Main Character, Rachel – in The Art of Lying (available starting April 17th on Amazon) also needs music to create.  She’s a painter and getting ready for her own solo art gallery show and is working on her final painting.    She loves pop music, alternative, music her parents listened to the house and car (they’re from New Jersey – so think Bruce and Bon Jovi!), and crazy random girls rock type songs (Cyndi and Beyonce!).  Below is the link to my Amazon playlist that I first used to write and edit my novel, but I’ve since also added some songs that I thought Rachel would listen while painting – some Belle and Sebastian, Paramore, and Arcade Fire.

Amazon Music Playlist

Do you need music to create? Or do you like silence, letting the muse speak to you?  What do you think? Does this random playlist get you ready to read my book?  Are you getting a better idea of who Rachel might be?  Come back next week and find out!

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Visualization Inspiration for The Art of Lying

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

Guess what?  My debut novel is almost ready to launch! That’s right, The Art of Lying will be available for purchase on Amazon (eBook and Paperback) on Tuesday, April 17th — whoohoo!!!!

To get you lovely readers in the mood, I thought I would share some of the visualization inspiration that I used when writing my characters.  I have a whole Pinterest board about my book with everything from art pieces that remind me of my main character’s work, to art studios, to actors that I used for the cast.  That’s what I thought I would share with you today.

Rachel

My main character.  An artist with short, spiky black hair; extremely pale skin; and light blue eyes.  For Rachel, I used Elvis’ granddaughter, who is a model.  She looked perfect – she even had the right attitude!

Mom – Veronica

If you joined my Reader’s Group and downloaded The Hit Parade, my short story anthology (and if you haven’t – you should! You can add your email down below) then you read Papa Don’t Preach which was all about my Mom and Dad character finding out they were pregnant at 17!  For my Mom’s visual representation I kept thinking of Mila Kunis or Katie Holmes.  Brown hair, tan skin, young and fun!

Dad – Michael

Michael is New Jersey tough! He’s young but started balding so he shaved his head. I kept picturing a young Bruce Willis but with his older bald head look.  It worked for me and now that’s all I see when I think of my main character’s Dad.

Noah – the mysterious boy

I used Matt Bomer (from White Collar) because he was perfect – a little older than Noah’s character – sure, but totally cute, business suits, gorgeous eyes, and a killer smile – yes!

Mystery Woman

I know…fun, a mystery woman!  For this character I kept thinking about Lauren Graham (Lorelei from Gilmore Girls) who just looked perfect – but the first season of GG as she’s a bit too old for the part now – hey, that’s the beauty of Dream Cast!  They can be any age, from any time/movie/TV – whatever helps when you write and work on characters.

I have a few other smaller characters, but I didn’t use actors for those – just some random images from Pinterest.  Here’s an example I used for Cassandra, another artist, and a friend of Rachel:

What do you think?  Are you falling in love with my cast yet?  Because I sure did and I can’t wait for everyone to read and get immersed in Rachel’s story!  Next week, I’m going to share Rachel’s playlist that I used when writing (and what I imagined she used when she was painting) and will give you more details about Launch day!!!

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Consistent Inconsistency

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

I have a bad habit of inconsistency.  I start projects or goals with so much gusto, so much energy but usually, I fall off in a matter of weeks. I’m very consistent in my inconsistency too as I’ve had this bad habit for years (decades really).   Here are a few examples: I started meditating daily a few months ago.  I was doing great, hitting streaks in my meditation app and feeling calm, centered, and positive.  Then something happened (who knows what it was – but I was probably sick or missed a night) and bam, the streak was broken and I was out of sync. Now, a normal person would probably just start back, but this is a hard concept for me to grasp so instead I just quit meditating altogether.  I haven’t even opened that app since.

Exercise is another one that I do this with ALL THE TIME.  I will start with a routine or a plan, and I’ll get – maybe 3-4 weeks and then something will happen and I’ll miss a day, or I’ll get sick, or go on vacation or…you get the idea…and I’m off track and out of sync and I just can NOT get back into it.  I have a mental block that keeps me from just jumping back in without panic, without overly worrying, without breaking down.  It’s annoying and I’ve realized it needs to stop.

Problem Meet Solution

Okay…so I’ve admitted my problem, that’s the first step, right? Next comes the plan – it’s called the Respawn.  Yes, that’s based on video games where when your character dies you can come back to life at a checkpoint, the last place you finished or leveled up.  I got this idea from Nerd Fitness, the group I’m a part of online for Health and Wellness and all things Geeky, but I never really took the idea to heart or thought much about it…because at the time I heard about it I was IN IT, I was on track and things were going GREAT!  Now they are not.

So, I’m going back to when things were ON for various things I want to get back to including exercise, meditation, some self-care stuff I let slide, and nutrition (eating my veggies mostly). I’m looking at where I was and what was working.  Using the meditation app and a timer, for instance.  Or using my 8 Minutes in the Morning book (which has a plan for exercise with moves and a journal). Or using my cuticle balm and hand cream while watching Jessica Jones before bed.  Or cutting up veggies and keeping them in a baggie or Tupperware in the fridge so they’re ready for a quick grab and go lunch or snack.

Solution = Plan

Next…actually plan these things back into my week slowly.  Pick one I want to add back in, add it to my online To-Do app or write it in my daily planner and just start.  Then pick another one and do the same thing.  But here’s where it gets tricky, for me, I get worried because I fall off so many times – I was serious when I said the only thing I’m consistent with is my inconsistency – it’s true, I fall off and I stay off.  That’s why I’m implementing a Respawn policy: It’s okay to fall off as long as you come back, always and as many times as you need to, just remember to keep track of where you level up or hit a checkpoint so you don’t start over at Level 1.

Here’s the truth – you never truly have to start all the way over from Square One – because you know things now, you have the experience (even if it was only 1-2 weeks or heck, even a few days you know things now – maybe you know what didn’t work and that’s good information too!).  If I can remember that and keep that in mind when I start then I don’t overwhelm myself because I will fall off, it’s just in my nature – I get derailed over little things and instead of fighting that, I will try to work with it.

How About You?

Do you need to Respawn with anything?  Do you need to start over with a goal or habit that you dropped off or out of? Let me know in the comments and we can help each other, I could even help you brainstorm some ways to get back on track – or tell me where you Leveled Up or what “checkpoint” you’ve already hit and let’s see what we can do to get things back in the groove!

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7 Things I Learned Rewatching 90s Sitcoms

Posted on by Jennifer Gregson

You guys know how much I love TV right?  I mean, I have written quite a few blog posts about it – like here, here, and here – it’s a deep love that has been around for awhile so when one of my old favorites showed up on Hulu, well, you know I had to binge watch and then another old favorite showed up and then…well, you get the idea.  First, it was Perfect Strangers, then Blossom, then Full House….oh my!  I was hardcore 1990s up in here for weeks, but it was funny – I kept having the same thoughts over and over again so here are 7 things I learned while watching old sitcoms.

  1. Cell phones would have made half the plot points moot.  Seriously, in one episode of Blossom, she and Six are looking for Fresh Prince in a hotel and Blossom found him and was upset that Six wouldn’t believe her and I thought if this happened now, Blossom could text Six and then take a selfie with the celebrity for proof.  In Friends, one episode has Chandler and Monica fighting over the time they said they would meet at a movie theatre – if they had cell phones they could have texted, bought tickets early, and wouldn’t have had a problem.
  2. Guest stars were the bomb! The aforementioned Fresh Prince was just one of many guest stars on Blossom, I mean I lost count of how many famous musicians and actors were on the show (and there were also a few before they were stars on the show as well – that’s always fun when watching old shows).  Friends had big-name guest stars too.  Full House had The Beach Boys all the time because of Uncle Jessie.  I mean, I know there are guest stars on sitcoms today, but they’re usually big stars playing other characters, not always themselves.  I know it happens, but it seems rarer, you know?
  3. Catchphrases!!!  Whoa!, You Got it Dude, Don’t Be Ridiculous – if you watched TV in the 90s you know exactly where these phrases come from and I can think of half-dozen more – just from the ABC and NBC line-ups alone.  Did I do that? How Rude!
  4. Theme songs are life. I miss TV shows having theme songs with lyrics that you could sing along with.  The Perfect Strangers theme song is one of my all-time favorites (my other one, of course, was Greatest American Hero) – I love theme songs so much that when I did my solo cabaret show I did a medley of TV theme songs that started with Facts of Life and ended with Golden Girls’ theme song.  Those were the days!
  5. Once a teenager gets too old to be cute, bring in a new cute kid!  Actually, I think this has been a sitcom rule since The Brady Bunch but I noticed it a lot while watching Blossom (the last few seasons the dad was dating, then married, a woman with a cute kid – with a British accent) and even Full House did this with Uncle Jessie and Becky’s cute twins.
  6. Outside of houses never really have to match the inside.  Full House again but come on that shot of the San Francisco house didn’t have a basement or an attic – that’s just nuts!  Friends was like this, too, in a way since Monica and Rachel’s apartment was right across from Joey and Chandler’s apartment but they were insanely different – I’ve lived in a few NYC buildings and I haven’t noticed that big of a discrepancy in apartments just across the hall from each other – on a way higher floor, maybe, but on the same floor?  I hope Chandler and Joey’s rent was way cheaper – but since Monica was basically pretending she was her Grandmother for cheap rent, I doubt it.
  7. Clothes were crazy!  Fresh Prince, Six and Blossom, Cousin Balki – people did not dress like that in the 1990s in St. Louis.  I saw more people dressed like Buffy or the people from Friends, sure – but not the crazy combinations and colors.  Maybe that was just St. Louis? Who knows.  PS – I had a Blossom hat (more than one actually)!

What is your favorite 1990’s sitcom?  Did you know that all of these old shows were on Hulu? And Netflix has a new show called “Everything Sucks” which is set in 1996 – so apparently, the 90s are back baby!

https://youtu.be/kD-_iyS95AQ

Oh…and Will Smith was on the Late Show last night and he and Jimmy Fallon did a History of TV Theme Songs thing — LOVED IT!!!

 

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